TIME TO FIND ME.

I always have been feeling lost whenever I lose any opportunity in life. It felt like I was getting nowhere in life. I always felt I have been losing time, I should get success at a young age, I should have understood all aspects of life till now, and if I don’t am a failure. I read a lot of books hoping to find the meaning of life, hoping to find myself in there somewhere. I read every book I thought could give me the idea of how to live life, how to be ME. But not a single book could make me understand how to get where I am supposed to be when I have not the tiniest bit of idea where I want to be in life. I almost gave up on my dreams of being good at something in life. I gave up on thinking about who I am. I had started suppressing my thoughts about life, about myself because they weren’t very encouraging.

But today this morning I was sitting and thinking of what to write in my blog. I was scrolling Instagram and saw one of my favorite celebrities posted a picture with a caption saying that he was searching for meaning in every corner and that the picture was before he got his first lead role in the movie. And life has never been the same since then.

Then it suddenly struck me that I am so young to be a failure in life. I have a whole life ahead of me, I can do what I want to, I can be who I want to be. I have a whole lot of time to understand aspects of life and a whole lot more to experience. There’s a lot more to see in the world than I have ever known. I am stressing watching everyone knowing what they want in life, me being here clueless. But maybe I will know when it will be my time. Maybe it’s time for me to understand myself and focus on myself rather than stressing over where my life is going. I should enjoy the moment at hand. Maybe I am not getting anywhere because I haven’t been knowing myself completely, I don’t love myself enough to be ready for being the person I am supposed to be. 

It’s time to find ME.