Journey of our own.

The world is moving so fast that I often feel that I am left behind.

I feel left out sometimes in my crowd, where I used to belong. The place I used to find comforting now triggers the chaos inside me. It’s no one’s fault, but my insecurities showing up. I used to think differently about myself. But recent events have crashed down my dream world.

Am I slow-paced? I don’t really know the answer, but I know that I am having my own journey, my own struggles. There’s nothing to compare my life with someone else’s, but some days I can’t help it. I try to change the path of my thoughts but do not always succeed. Some days that critic sitting in my mind takes over and ramble those harsh judgments of his own. He asks why am I not there, why am I not satisfied, there are lots of why’s.

But Why? I want to ask.

We often see people on social media, celebrating, laughing and positive side of the life. Because we don’t share the struggles behind the success, pain behind those beautiful smile, negativity behind those positive side. I don’t understand, why is it easier to judge ourselves than to love ourselves? Why do we often find ourselves comparing to other’s life? Why do we find the grass greener on the other side? We often don’t see their struggles and compare them to ourselves, then why to their success? Why we are never satisfied with our achievements? Why we don’t celebrate the little successes that we keep on achieving? Why is it so hard to accept our worth?

It’s an achievement to get up from the bed when all you want is to stay hidden under your blanket. It is an achievement to get going through tough days and still not giving up. It’s an achievement worth celebrating helping your loved ones when in need even if you are trembling o your own. Our lives are filled with so many things that others desire.

I have been trying my best to get rid of this habit. Hopefully, I will someday. I scold myself every time I notice myself comparing to someone, I change the direction of my thoughts. Let’s celebrate the victory of our loved ones without feeling down in ourselves. Let’s be happy in their happiness without questions from ourselves. I should, actually, we all should be grateful for what we have now. And from now, I will take one more step towards making myself a bit better than I was yesterday.