A Day In My Diary

I had a lot of dreams, dreams about having an epic and the most romantic love story. I imagined everything to be perfect cause I thought love has to be perfect. If you arent “the good one” no one is going to love you, people will make judgments about your choices. I thought if I voice my opinion, no one would bother to stay by my side cause I am “too much of a problem”. I always felt that if I won’t compromise, my relationship will never last. I kept things, feelings to myself because I am “the good one”. I try so hard not to make any mistake, harder to be understanding and considering what others might feel but in the meantime, I forgot I am someone too. I feel so much yet no one knows about it. I yearned for being likable. I let things slide even when I wanted to confront, I went silent when I wanted to scream. I thought this is how things are going to work. But it doesn’t and it never will.

I don’t know why I never thought that if they like me, they wouldn’t want me to keep things inside and suffer all alone. I learned love is not just about those mere feelings it’s about so much more. Love is about acceptance. Relationships can never be perfect for all the time, there will be ups and downs, but all I need is to have someone who’d stay by my side even when things aren’t going well.
People leave if they want to no matter how hard you try. And those who want to stay will stay no matter how things go wrong.

But I know someday I’d have an epic and most romantic love story of my own.