A Day Inside My Diary – 2

Dear life,

I wish you would have been a bit easier for everyone. Some people like me spend their whole life thinking of the possibilities of achieving something great. I had a dream like every other kid of being known to the world and being a person my family could be proud of. But recently all I feel is a big disappointment for them, but most importantly “for me”. I wish you could have given me a bit of time to realize what I want, where I want to lead my life. All I want to know is who the hell am I? Am I just an ordinary person who will die dreaming? Am I just another person who will carry the burden of their family and give up on themselves? Or can I be a bit selfish to dig inside of me and find my dream that I want to fulfill?

My dreams kept going down and down and I never realized that I was left with no purpose, any big dreams, no aims to fulfill mine. I know it takes a lot to chase your dream.it takes a hell of sleepless nights, passion, and most importantly that power to keep chasing your dream. Somedays I feel that I am a coward. I can never be able to do something in life and would waste one good life just thinking what opportunities I lost just because I wasn’t sure of anything because I was way too scared of what people would feel about me. I say I don’t care what others think but eventually, I care what my people think. I feel if I go after my dreams they would be all alone, they would hate me for being selfish. 

I feel burdened under my responsibilities, that I feel towards my family, I want to run away and go on roads I have never been, try what I never thought of, make mistakes, and learn from those all by myself. But am I strong enough? Am I desperate enough?

Life, I just want to find some answers, I just want to be who I meant to be. Maybe someday you would give me enough strength to go find my way through all hurdles you put, to go find myself.

Yours truly,

Someone who has a lot of dreams.